Yu's List
by Ryuuzaki-Takada
Summary: Sequel to Makoto's List. During their investigation, the Investigation Team had to deal with the antics of their leader, Yu Narukami. They have compiled a list of what they think was and was not appropriate, and planned to give it to him by the end of the year to help him better himself.


In the spring of 2011, a young man named Yu Narukami stepped off a train to enter the small town of Inaba, to stay there for one year. During the year, he and his friends joined together to solve one of the most bizarre murder cases in recent memory.

However, during their investigation, the Investigation Team had to deal with his antics. They have compiled a list of what they think was and was not appropriate, and planned to give it to him by the end of the year to help him better himself. Now that the year is over, and spring is here once again, Yu must say goodbye to his friends and return to the city.

His friends gave him the list before he left, and this is what it said:

* * *

******Things The Team Expect Yu Must Do While We Are Investigating The Midnight Channel**

1. I will not try to turn the Midnight Channel into my personal late-night talk show.

2. We are your teammates, not your underlings.

3. Painting your _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ cards blue does not turn them into Persona cards.

4. Painting _Magic: The Gathering_ cards does not work either.

5. Even though it will look awesome, we are not going to duel while riding on our scooters.

6. "Morooka was a bastard", yes. It does not mean it needed to be printed on a tarpaulin banner and posted on the school gate.

7. I will use my two-handed swords with two hands.

8. _Devil May Cry 4_ does not simulate actual combat situations involving Shadows.

9. Having silver hair and the ability to summon a blue aura does not make me Nero.

10. Yosuke does not sound like Makoto Yuki. We have no idea who the hell he is.

11. Chie does not have the God Hand, and she is not related to Gene.

12. Yukiko has expressed her displeasure on being nicknamed "Supa Hot Fire."

13. Kanji is not the "Macho Man", no matter how much spandex you give him.

14. Rise will not perform lap dances for you, no matter how eager she seems to be.

15. Teddie's weapon is a claw is because he is a bear. It is not because he is Wolverine.

16. We may be a team, but we are not the X-Men.

17. Naoto is not related to Raidou Kuzunoha, and she is not a "Devil Summoner".

18. Even though the fog can get denser than other areas, Inaba is not "Japanese Silent Hill."

19. We will not wear those Neo Featherman costumes in the TV World again. Once was enough.

20. Our Personas cannot combine into "a badass Mega-Persona".

21. Kou and Daisuke do not have, and are not part of a hive mind.

22. We don't know why you complain about "Minako Arisato" to us, we don't even know who she is.

23. The shrine in the Central Shopping District is not a portal to Gensoukyou.

24. The fox is not a Vulpix.

25. We do not want you to check.

26. Yumi Ozawa and Maria Ozawa are not related.

27. The Konishi family may sell liquor, but it does not mean that Naoki can sell it to minors.

28. Trying to convince him to do so under the pretense of "drowning his sorrows" is in bad taste.

29. Konishi Liquors does not sell "Nord mead".

30. I am to stop daring the first-years to eat Mystery Food X. They will always do it.

31. Aiya's is not a hostess club, and Aika Nakamura is not a hostess.

32. Marie is also not a hostess, you "stupidjerkface."

33. Aika's skill in delivery does not mean she is, nor is she the daughter of the Transporter.

34. Yosuke and Teddie are not "extremely close in an ambiguous way."

35. I cannot use the hot springs in the inn to cook pasta.

36. Especially if there are people using the springs while I do so.

37. I will not feed the people with the results, even if they ask.

38. The Guardian of Inaba is not a Gyarados.

39. I am not the king of anything.

40. Even though my Persona is Izanagi, I cannot call myself "The Lord of All Japan".

41. Yosuke's Persona is not the same character from Naruto.

42. We don't care how good you are at fishing, you are not changing your name to "Charlie Tunoku".

43. "Because the fans love it" is not a reason to hit on every woman we meet. We swear you do this more than Teddie sometimes.

44. Chihiro Fushimi is the student council president of Gekkoukan High School. She is not "the local bicycle."

45. "Shadow Yosuke is riding the frog" means exactly what it means.

46. While there is no rule saying I cannot, I will not cover Shadow Chie with whipped cream and call it a "banana split."

47. We will not check if Shadow Yukiko really did have her lacy unmentionables on.

48. Shadow Naoto is not Astro Boy, and it does not "shit out death at 400 rounds per minute."

49. What happened in the sauna was not pretty. The team would appreciate it if we would not talk about it any further.

50. No replacing the background music of the stripclub with "Careless Whisper".

51. I am not allowed to dance on the poles in there.

52. The Konami code does not work in Mitsuo's dungeon. We don't even know how to input it.

53. The A, B, Start and Select buttons are not the women's rears.

54. Heaven is Nanako's dungeon, not Bob Marley's.

55. "It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission" no longer applies to Yu Narukami.

56. I accept my fate of a Galactic Punt if I try to peep under the skirts of women.

57. We will not detonate a nuke inside the TV World. Teddie lives there, and we are not nuking his home.

58. I will not play keep-away with Naoto's hat.

59. I will especially not do so with her gun.

60. Ayane practices her trombone. It does not mean she practices ON her trombone.

61. My Personas are not shinigami, and I do not have shinigami powers.

62. I am also not in possession of a Death Note.

63. I will not attempt to stuff Kanji in a closet, let him out and say "he just came out from the closet". That is rude.

64. When Nanako finds a used condom packet in the house, I am expected to confess to its origins, not call it "circumstantial evidence."

65. The fox is using the yen to renovate the shrine. It does not use it to buy drugs.

66. Kanji beats up bikers. He himself is not, nor does he desire to be one.

67. I will not attempt to do parkour in Okina City again.

68. I will not convince Yosuke to do so as well.

69. We don't care if Daidara can make it or not, we are not going to let you own a Hidden Blade.

70. Daidara will not forge the Iron Throne for you, nor will you call yourself "King of Westeros".

71. Daidara may forge rings, but he cannot forge "the One Ring."

72. Nor can he forge any colored Power Ring.

73. The "In accordance to the prophecy" joke is not funny anymore.

74. Not allowed to show the female members of the team "Mara Sr." Doing so will mean your dick is green.

75. Ai Ebihara does not appreciate the "Yu and Ai" puns, slight coloration on her cheeks be damned.

76. The King's Game was fun exactly once.

77. Yasoinaba High School is not the Japanese campus of Hogwarts, and I will stop telling Nanako that it is.

78. Your Personas are not proof of the existence of Transfiguration.

79. All of us, with the exception of Naoto, are not licensed for firearms. This means we cannot bring them inside the TV World.

80. We know how useful they are in fighting Shadows, but we don't trust you around things that explode.

81. Chie and Yukiko are not "yaoi fangirls".

82. They are also not, nor were they at any point in time in a lesbian or bisexual relationship.

83. It is true that Ryotaro Dojima is a detective. It does not mean he is Sherlock Holmes, nor does he have a vacation home on 221B Baker St.

84. Your collection of pornographic works, while impressive, is not a proper conversation topic.

85. Tohru Adachi is not my "evil twin brother".

86. Stop trying to summon Santa Claus as a Persona. It's not going to happen.

87. Naoto cannot just "shoot the damn things in the fucking head." Some of the Shadows don't even have discernible heads.

88. What happened in the inn never happened. Stop thinking about it.

89. I SAID STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!

90. I am not to create a fighting game based on our experiences.

91. I will not sell my equipment for magic beans.

92. There is no red-light district in Inaba.

93. We will not create a red-light district in Inaba.

94. "_Les Misérables_" is not grounds to incite rebellion in the Central Shopping District against Junes.

95. Junes is not "Japanese Wal-Mart".

96. I will not modify my scooter to let me go at "ludicrous speed".

97. We will not make fun of the girl's cooking. It is wrong to make fun of the disabled.

98. Please stop cross dressing in the TV World, it's distracting Kanji.

99. Yosuke does not have the Dagger of Time.

100. None of our Personas talk to us, and "the voices in my head" are not to be used as an excuse for anything.

101. I admit to being a man-whore. If a six year old can see it, I probably am one.

102. I am not entitled to senior citizen discounts, even though I have silver hair.

103. The TV is not a portal to Equestria.

104. The Wild Card is not the Seventh Element of Harmony.

105. We are trying to stop people getting pushed in the TV. I will not threaten to do so just because they sent me a shock video.

106. I may be a guest in the Velvet Room, but I should not go there just to get drunk.

107. We are not going to do the group date cafe again. No one liked it then, no one will like it now.

108. The TV World is not "the field of honor", and we will not hold duels there.

109. Rise's Persona is not "the bastard child of Sadako and Metal Gear REX".

110. We do not want to know how you went out of your way to travel to Iwatodai and kicked Tanaka in the balls "because a part of me told me to".

111. My bowl cut is stupid and I need to change my hairstyle.

112. A mohawk is not an appropriate hairstyle.

113. Chie has not "discarded her womanhood".

114. Margaret has a proper title, and it is not "hot MILF".

115. There is not enough people in Inaba to create a "seven-mile spanking machine."

116. The glasses let us see through the fog. It does not let us see "why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch".

117. Any Persona based in Irish mythology is not after "me Frosted Lucky Charms".

118. "Just because I can" is not grounds to eat more than _seventeen_ bowls of Aiya's Rainy Day Special Mega Beef Bowls.

119. I will not install a surround sound system in the house, even if I paid for it.

120. Dojima does not need to get laid.

121. I will stop bringing the video camera everywhere and film our investigation.

122. I will not paint over the glasses we use so it "can look like we're in a RPG".

* * *

After carefully reading the list, Yu then stared at entry no. 90 intently and called his contacts in the Kirijo Group to tell them what to do with one of their robots. He then brought out a pen and started to list possible guests for his future talk show.

* * *

_AN: That was quick, wasn't it?_


End file.
